Louis-Ferdinand Celine. Journey To The End Of The Night
The water lapped against the bank where the fishermen were, and I sat down to watch them. I was really in no hurry at all, no more than they were. I’d pretty well come to the point, the age, you might say, when a man knows what he’s losing with every hour that passes. But he hasn’t yet built up the wisdom to pull up sharp on the road of time, and anyway, even if you did stop you wouldn’t know what to do without the frenzy for going forward that has possessed you and won your admiration ever since you were young. Even now you’re not as pleased with your youth as you used to be, but you don’t dare admit in public that youth may be nothing more than a hurry to grow old.
In the whole of your absurd past you discover so much that’s absurd, so much deceit and credulity, that it might be a good idea to stop being young this minute, to wait for youth to break away from you and pass you by, to watch it going away, receding in the distance, to see all its vanity, run your hand through the empty space it has left behind, take a last look at it, and then start moving, make sure your youth is really gone, and then calmly, all by yourself, cross to the other side of Time to see what people and things really look like.